Toxic Inward Gaze


I read somewhere that the 20s is a time of looking sidewards. We look to our peers as basis of comparison. Career. Relationships. Bank account numbers.

The social media age places this sideward gaze on our fingertips. We are drawn to conclusions about ourselves that may sound right but are not necessarily true – oh so easily

“I will never be truly happy if I don’t achieve this/marry him/earn this much”

And I thought being self-assured would spare me from the same thoughts. I was wrong.

Comparison is an ugly gamemaster, pitting us against people we love, all the time. I’ve been in rooms where I was the least successful person. Least beautiful least talented least relevant. Roomfuls of people I love. The rooms are multiplying too. And this voice peppers me with questions about God’s kindness and God’s just judgement

It took a lot of elbow grease and I have much to wrestle, still, but here’s what I think ðŸ

May the Lord have mercy on us to convert all this noise to praise. All this “me, me, me” to “What is man that You are mindful of him?”

Celebrate others, at such a time as this. When others succeed, your space and calling is not robbed from you. You are still here. God’s gaze upon you has not shifted one bit. When our eyes are deadset upon somebody else’s timeline we miss the revelations in our own.

I prayed that God would do something about my toxic inward gaze. I wanted to stop my heart from rotting. Last week, He gave me tons of things to write. Stories about other people. Stories about His work all over the world. When I write about Him I don’t have time to second-guess if He plays favorites among His children.

The antidote to this toxic inward gaze is an upward gaze, “looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame”.

You are here. You exist. Even when the days feel nondescript, like most of mine – God is keeping tabs on you. Keeping you safe. Gearing you up for the greatest privilege of doing life with Him

Listen to this:

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