On fading into the background, feeling invisible, left out //

 (until I get my domain back I’ll probably babble here. I found something in my journal that I wanted to share so here you go, a #JournalGem )

Today it pained me to realize that it is easy to disappear without anybody noticing. You don’t even have to literally disappear. You can stand there and slowly fade. Become background noise. Makes you think about the kind of imprints you leave. If there are any at all.

Most of the thoughts that come with this invisibility are false. Like, when others speak I am robbed of a voice. When others have a future, mine is snatched away. Lies. Takes a little work but they’re easy to spot. Turns out, I can even embrace the loneliness. The quiet. The bottle turning and turning and never landing on me. Because it’s not all about me.

I can choose to die to my self because that’s where I find life. When i spend time with Jesus He fills me until I can not contain anything more. I am not invisible. I am not muted. Even if it feels that way. If I feel like I am overlooked I have to treat it as it is – a dangerous lie.

Psalm 139, written in love ink. When there are voices speaking over me I listen to the One whose banner over me is love. He loves me. Wild and abundant and free. This I do not have to prove to anyone because He has proven it to me, Romans 5:8, and that is more than enough. Enough to replace the noise with real music, the static with overwhelming joy. He sees me, knows me, that is enough.

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