We saw each other for around 20 minutes last Friday. We barely talked, busy. The past few weeks have been like this. School.
He showed me this, an award he won, first runner up for a magazine cover competition. He sounded sad. I guess no one prepares us for first-runner up, noh? We get ready to win or lose, but not the “almost-win”. No one prepares us for almost victories.
I should have told him that I was very proud of him -started from drawing stick figures and avatar characters, now we’re here – but busy. I managed an “okay lang yan”. I should’ve said more.
He slept over at his classmate’s house last night. We used to do that a lot. Well, technically, every night is a sleep over, but we used to cook and watch movies and whoever falls asleep last has to do the most annoying task ever – shut down the laptop and keep it.
Parent’s night rin kagabi. I went with my mom. It was then that I heard na a couple I look up to is getting a divorce. My heart sank. Felt heavy for the rest of the night. I hate that families have to break. I look at my mother. Strongest woman I know. I text my brother, said i couldn’t stop crying.
He went home this morning. Asked me if I was still sad. He bought me a peach mango pie to lift my spirits.
We’re at a coffeeshop now. He’s on a different floor, working with a classmate. I am alone with my thoughts. I wonder what this will all look like a week, a month from now.
Grew up with this guy. 20 years. I did not know it was possible to miss someone you practically sleep beside with every single night. If only our dreams could talk to each other, tell each other about our days, laugh at the craziest things.
Oh, these times are hard.