UGLY SOBBING RIGHT NOW

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Okay so I wasn’t planning on posting anything but after watching the Finale of Gravity Falls tonight, I just had to.

So the whole series just ended. It was two seasons of childhood wonder and mystery. Gravity Falls is about a mysterious haunted town and a pair of twins taking a vacation there, at a rundown tourist trap their great-uncle runs. The Mystery Shack.

Oh my goodness i am crying over a disney show!!!!

But, maikwento ko lang, I started watching gravity falls at the onset of my latest episode of depression. I couldn’t stop watching it. I binge-watched all episodes of season 1 in like three days.

So again, ang bida, is a pair of twins. Dipper and Mabel. And guys, on point ang similarities nila sa amin ni Jerry. Dipper is awkward and suspicious, Jerry is awkward and suspicious. Mabel is all glitter and boy crushes, and I used to be like that, too. I could go on and on and on.

Let’s focus on Mabel. This sounds really isip-bata and weird but at the darkest days of my depression Mabel felt like my friend. Watching her made me feel like I was watching my childhood self, positive and happy and crazy. There were days I couldn’t function; I would lie paralyzed in bed the entire day. I would shut down my social media. But I would watch Mabel and Dipper fight through everything and somehow that got me through everything.

Fun fact: I probably have memorized the entire dialogue of Season 1. Season 2, 75 percent.

The series ends barely a month after my depression ends. Watching the twins tonight felt like I was bidding goodbye to Mabel, who is just like Krizia before everything happened. I cried. I ugly snotty cried. I am still crying. I wonder why good things like childhood has to end.

But it’s okay.

TO END THIS I HAVE A LETTER FOR MABEL PINES.

Dear Mabel,

You are a fictional character, but you were very real during my darkest days. And since you and my 12 year-old self have a lot in common, you may have this slim chance of going through what I’ve been going through, so:

Keep the wonder. Keep knitting crazy sweaters. Keep annoying your brother. Keep your big big heart and never be afraid to trust. Stay silly, it will keep you sane. People will try to snuff the light out of you, but no, fight them with your glitter. Stay bedazzled. Whenever you feel like you’re growing a little too fast, take your scrapbook of summer memories and remember.Β  Yes, grow up, but save some days for rolling in grass and having sleepovers and belting out the cheesiest, rock balladiest song ever.

I’m gonna miss you, Mabel.

Umiiyak pa rin ako ano ba. Sepanx

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6 thoughts on “UGLY SOBBING RIGHT NOW

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